Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
