He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
