I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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