I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
