I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
