Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
