Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
