I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
