I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
