I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
