I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
