now i know why i became what i already was.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
