whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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