I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize