did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
