Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
