whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
