I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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