And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
