so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
