apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
