Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
