I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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