i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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