i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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