I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
high people should be assigned attendants
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize