my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
