i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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