Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
