apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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