you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
