I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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