mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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