Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
