would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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