bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
