we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
