OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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