just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
