oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
