U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just found puke in my bra..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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