just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
