So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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