I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
