put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
True college students do jello shots in the library
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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