what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
