I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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