Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
