so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i think i have two assholes
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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