drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
