i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
