hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
