He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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