we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
as a side note pls kill me
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