I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
