I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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