FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Best friends brother. Beat that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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