You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I checked into jail on foursquare
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
