she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize