Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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